


Piano Man

by AstroNella



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 18:20:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20710448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstroNella/pseuds/AstroNella
Summary: Lister finds a piano in a long-forgotten bar on Red Dwarf.





	Piano Man

**Author's Note:**

> Lister/Rimmer established relationship, set some time after Back To Earth.  
CAMAC: Combined American Military Astronaut Corps.  
Inspired by this tweet: <https://twitter.com/BBCRadio2/status/1170411482514907137>

Before the accident, Lister had never set foot inside the Adelphi, Red Dwarf's reinterpretation of a twentieth century cocktail bar. All he knew about it was from a photograph Kochanski had on her phone, taken when she attended a colleague's birthday party there. It wasn't really Lister's scene – the smart black and white décor, the halo-shaped chandelier, the complete absence of lager. The only thing that sounded appealing was the piano – a shiny white grand piano at one end of a small raised stage.

Lister had rediscovered the Adelphi almost by accident a few months ago. He and Kryten had been servicing the bazookoids following a protracted shootout which saw them escape from a GELF planet by the skin of their teeth. Kryten had insisted they walk through the lower starboard decks to find the archive records for the weaponry servicing, as he had some ideas about building a better bazookoid. Happy to indulge him, Lister trailed a few metres behind as Kryten searched the record offices.

Lister used the time to wander down the main corridor to a walkway, to investigate some smart wood-and-glass doors set back in an alcove. It was not until he saw the doors up close that he recognised the JMC Leisure Services logo etched into the centre glass panels. Only then did Lister notice the small nameplate on the wall confirming that this was the Adelphi cocktail bar.

While Kryten was busy searching racks of disks and hard drives, Lister tentatively pushed on the large wooden handles of the double doors. They opened onto another set of double doors, with a large coir doormat in between, with the stern-but-worn lettering PLEASE WIPE YOUR FEET. Ignoring this advice, Lister opened the second set of doors and walked into the bar.

It was much smaller than he'd always imagined. Room for half-a-dozen tables, a small bar, and a small stage at the far end. But the piano was still there. Lister still had his Allen keys in his pocket, so he was able to pick the lock on the piano with a little effort.

Lister sat down at the piano. Would it still play decently? He didn't hold out much hope, given how long it had been since it was last played regularly. Tentatively, he pressed down middle C. An acceptable-enough middle C sounded. He tried a few notes either side, and they sounded pretty reasonable too, as did a few higher notes.

Lister opened the lid of the piano and peered inside. There didn't appear to be much damage – some wear and tear maybe, and a bit of dust, but nothing really that drew his attention. Propping the lid open, he returned to the keys and tried some lower notes – he'd always loved how they sounded with the piano lid open. He wasn't disappointed.

So, the piano was in tune enough to be played, thought Lister. But what should he play? He remembered a few tunes his grandmother's friends had taught him back on the piano in the neighbourhood church hall when he was a boy, but they were either nursery rhymes or hymns. He'd always preferred making his own sounds, running his fingers up and down the keyboard, leaving little trills and flourishes, soft notes blended together, sharp fortissimo chords, whatever felt right under his fingertips at that moment.

During a pause in his playing, Lister was suddenly aware of Kryten calling him. He shut the piano up and returned to his crewmate, almost running into him outside the Adelphi's main doors.

“Oh sir!” Exclaimed Kryten. “Where have you been? I was getting concerned.”

“No worries Krytes”, Lister replied. “Did you know about this place? I've never been in there before. The Adelphi. The piano still plays pretty well after all this time.”

“You can play the piano, sir? I had no idea.” Heading back to the weaponry workshop, they walked towards the main elevators together.

“Well, I can play a few tunes, but I never really learned properly. I just like the sound, so I make up my own stuff.”

“Sir, there might be piano music on the Internet Archive you might like. Or some books in the teaching library. You could learn properly if you wanted to, I'm sure you could.”

They got into the lift. “Maybe, Krytes. I don't want to start learning properly, then discover I'm no good.”

“That's never stopped you with the guitar, sir.”

***

Over the next few weeks, Lister would often disappear from the crew quarters, not telling anyone where he was heading to. The Cat, despite his self-proclaimed expertise at sniffing out missing persons, never discovered where Lister got to. Kryten never spoke of their rediscovery of the Adelphi, preferring to discuss his bazookoid ideas. And Rimmer buried his head in his astronavigation textbooks once he'd tried and failed to get an answer from Lister.

Lister didn't try learning to play 'properly'. He continued to make up his own tunes, aware that some of them contained snippets and phrases from the hymn tunes he'd learned all those years ago. Visiting the Adelphi two or three times a week, by repetition his own compositions began to come together.

Meanwhile, Rimmer's curiosity was getting the better of him. He'd pretend to be studying when Lister left the room, but would try and follow him. At first he tried switching to soft-light to enable him to hide quickly if Lister suspected he was being followed, but this only ended up with Rimmer getting lost as a result of hiding in rooms and storage cupboards he'd never encountered before. Why did such a vast ship have so few signs, he grumbled to himself. No wonder he struggled with the astronavigation exam, he couldn't even find his way through Red Dwarf.

As the weeks went by Rimmer started to wonder if he really ought to keep pursuing this – what if he didn't like what he found? Was that why Lister was being so secretive? Was he hiding something from him to protect him, or because he simply didn't want Rimmer to know? Trying to keep up with Lister one evening without being seen, Rimmer's imagination began to take flight. Aliens? Felis sapiens? Why would Lister keep them hidden away? No, it can't be either of those, he reasoned, he would have told us.

It must be Kochanski! She must be back. That's why Lister doesn't want anyone to know. She doesn't want to be with the rest of us, she just wants Lister to herself so they can settle down and have babies and be together in their part of the ship and we'll hardly see Lister any more.

_I'll_ hardly see Lister any more. The thought made Rimmer stop in his tracks. He'd occasionally wondered during their relationship about what might happen if Kochanski returned. Would Lister leave him for her? It would be what Lister always wanted since he first knew him, he thought. Would she really come back? And if she did, could it work out for them? What if it all went wrong between them and Lister wanted him back? Could he live with being Lister's second choice? Wasn't that what he was right now, though?

Rimmer stopped and leaned against a wall. Sighing heavily, he sunk down until he was sitting on the floor, keeping his feet tucked close to him even though he knew there wasn't anyone else nearby to trip over his legs. Why was he doing this? He should've been more persistent in questioning Lister – more persuasive. Maybe eventually he would've told him, or asked him to accompany him to see for himself. Now, here he was, sitting on the floor in some godforsaken part of Red Dwarf, trying to figure out what kind of relationship he would have with his lover after he comes back to him on the rebound from a failed relationship with his onetime dream woman. And to top it all, whose idea of music is that? At least get to the end of your so-called tune before starting a new one.

The music started up again. It lasted longer this time, but with gaps in between. What complete goit of a composer writes tunes with so many gaps in the middle? Heading towards the source of the music, Rimmer realised the gaps weren't gaps – he couldn't hear all the higher notes from his crouched position in the side corridor, but now he was out in the main walkway they were clearly audible.

Following the sound, Rimmer soon came close enough to its source to identify it as coming from a real piano. Walking along further, he came round a corner to an alcove with big double doors, the centre glass panels clearly etched with the JMC Leisure Services logo.

Rimmer pushed the doors open, and wiped his feet on the doormat. The piano was louder now, this was definitely the right place. He tried looking through the glass in the inner doors, but it was too darkly tinted to see anything identifiable. Pushing tentatively at the inner doors, Rimmer was relieved that they opened without a hitch or a squeak. Closing the doors behind him, he found himself in the Adelphi, looking up at Lister, seated at the grand piano, playing the tune he'd been following.

Rimmer stood still and listened. No, he didn't know that tune, but it definitely sounded better when you could hear all the notes. Actually, it sounded rather wonderful, especially when he watched Lister play, seeing him focus on the notes, seeing him hit the louder chords with determination, and feather his fingers over the keys to produce the lighter, higher flourishes. He didn't know how long he'd been stood there, watching and listening. He only realised he was still doing so when the music stopped and he was suddenly looking at Lister's surprised face.

“Hey! You found me then, I guess.” Lister finally said. “Been listening long?”

“A little while. I could hear you down the corridor.”

“Did you like what you heard?”

“Yes I did Listy, especially once I could see you play.” Rimmer moved to stand behind Lister, wrapping his arms around him and kissing the top of his head. “Play some more.”

Lister played a few more notes, enveloped in Rimmer's embrace. He smiled to himself as Rimmer trailed kisses down his temple to his cheek. He stopped playing and moved to one side of the piano stool and Rimmer sat down beside him, leaving a lingering kiss on his lips.

“Why didn't you tell me about this?” Rimmer asked him.

“I only found the place by accident” Lister said. “I didn't know if I'd be able to play properly. Then I thought I'd try and write a song or a tune, something I could play for you one day. It was going to be a surprise.”

“It _was_ a surprise, Listy. I was worried you were up to something. I wish you'd told me.”

“I didn't want to spoil the surprise. I was going to bring you down here, you would sit at a table with a glass of wine and I'd play for you. Something special for your birthday, or deathday. I thought you'd like it in here too, you must have been here a few times back in the day.”

“Not me, not unless you count the time Todhunter made me hold a stepladder for the electrician while they fitted the chandelier before the place opened. I'm surprised you're familiar with it though.”

Lister shook his head and started tracing out a few notes on the keyboard. “No, not my type of place back then. Kochanski came here a few times, she liked it. She came here for a birthday party once – remember Gertrude with the big hair, one of the CAMAC lot? I wasn't invited but she came.”

Rimmer's heart sank at the mention of Kochanski's name. It didn't go unnoticed.

“What's wrong man?” Lister asked him, speaking more softly than before.

Rimmer hesitated. “I thought she might be back. I thought that's why you were sneaking away. I thought she was back and you were coming here to see her, and one day you'd come here and wouldn't come back to me.” he said, his voice wavering. He found a spot on the floor to stare at and bit his lip.

Lister was shocked. He had no idea his absences had worried Rimmer so much. He'd got so caught up in his brilliant plan that he'd never considered how it could be anything but a perfect success. Another little dream of his, he'd never given reality a thought, and now it had hit home.

He put an arm round his lover and leaned in, almost whispering in his ear. “I'm sorry Arn, maybe I should have said something. I didn't mean for you to worry. I didn't think about it at all.”

“It's OK, Listy”, Rimmer replied, in a voice that suggested things were not OK. The spot on the floor was getting blurry, he noticed, but he was determined to keep staring at it.

“I love you, Arn”, Lister said. He corrected himself. “I love _you_.”

Rimmer smiled and tried to blink back his tears. “Love you too, Listy” he said. He turned to look at his lover, to see his wide smile and eyes full of love, only Lister's eyes were full of concern as well, as he swept his thumb across Rimmer's cheek to wipe away a stray tear.

Lister placed a tender kiss on Rimmer's tearstained cheek. In turn, Rimmer kissed Lister on the lips, slowly and softly, once, then again, then more, as they wrapped their arms around each other.

Rimmer broke from the kiss, and both men caught their breath. “I didn't come all this way to kiss you Listy, I can do that any time in our quarters” he said. “When am I going to hear some more piano-playing?”

“Whenever you like, Arn. Right now, if you want to.” Lister reached one hand to the keys, and played a few notes, up and down, ending in a brief flourish. His other arm remained wrapped round his lover. “You know, you could play something yourself if you like.”

Rimmer tentatively pressed the key nearest to him with the forefinger of his free hand. He followed this with his middle finger on the next key, then moved his hand to reach a nearby black key. They both laughed at how wrong the last note sounded after the others.

“I think you should play, Listy. I want to hear you play. I want to watch you play. Over and over again.”

Lister obliged, running the fingers of both hands across the keys, producing little tunes, chords, loud and soft notes. Rimmer watched, marvelling at his lover's musical skills. He hoped they would sit together at the piano like this for many evenings to come.


End file.
